Million Dollar Listing Season 4 Episode 8 Recap: Business is Business

There's lots of ground to cover this week as I play catch-up. MDL isn't providing the drama I so badly crave, but there's still hope for the upcoming finale. And just in case there isn't, I'm sharing my recommendations on ways this season could be neatly tied up in a nice little reality bow.

Last week in Episode 7:

• Josh Flagg met with Charles about his autobiography "Brokering the Dream". The cameras rolled as Charles warned Josh about the explosive Chapter 8, and we hear the first mention of Colton. Yes, we told you that Josh was coming out in the release of his new book, perfectly synced with the MDL storyline.
• Madison had a little social gathering in the hope of finding himself a new hot guy. Josh Altman made an appearance to meet Heather. There was a heated exchange between the two about Heather's ultimatum and the line we've been waiting for was played out "Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't throw down." Sadly, it kind of fizzled out after that line and we were deprived of an actual throwdown.
• Josh Altman's storyline? A sale of some sort, but nothing memorable. Let's move along.

Episode 8 opens with Josh at a construction site, er, house. The house is unfinished and needs to be sold "as is" as part of an estate sale. Translation: there's lumber everywhere, construction debris and green gunk in the pool. The seller wants $5 million. Josh advises completion of construction to get around $8 or 9 million, but of course that's not an option. So he recommends it as a pocket listing to make buyers feel they're getting something special.

After calling each of his preferred clients (each was the first he called), Josh dons a face mask and rubber gloves to clean the hot mess he's getting ready to show them, as if this makes any difference. The feedback is not good. Turnkey properties sell, and construction loans aren't easy to get these days. There's just way too much work remaining. More importantly, we learn that people just don't have vision.

The next scene shows Josh in his pink jammies deliberating on how to sell this house. Cue Grandma Edith. She invites him upstairs for coffee, and when Josh arrives, she's donning a fur-collared robe, because, well, she's freezing and "it's complicated". Her advice? Bring the food, so that clients hang around. When they eat and drink, the will be inspired, maybe they'll even want to throw a party there...so they'll buy the house. A construction party, if you will.

Next we meet Colton, who Josh refers to as a constant in his life, his boyfriend of 3 years. Did we mention that Josh is considering coming out? Will he or won't he? The suspense draws us in (as the cameras roll).

Josh seeks advice now from Colton, who really doesn't seem to be concerned about the publicity. His advice is to include it, but Josh doesn't want to be known as the gay realtor (I think Madison already has that label, at least on MDL, but there is an opening for a "polyamorist".) Colton calls Josh weird, and they agree to work through it.

Madison's first scene includes him telling Heather that Josh Altman is a "douchebag" as they discuss the previous night's events. But did he find love, I wonder?

Back at the office, Madison discusses his new clients, John and Erica. John's job is transferring him to the area and they're in the market for a house. At their meeting, however, Erica's sister, Amy, fills in while mom takes care of her sick child.

After a few false leads, they find the perfect home, complete with pig cabinet knobs. The asking price is $1.695 million and they plan to offer around $1.4 million and close within 15 days. They agree to meet to solidify the offer.

At the follow-up meeting, Madison is crushed to learn that John's company is sending him overseas for 8-9 months, so Erica no longer wants to move.  John laces his explanation with lots of "mans", i.e. This is killing me, man. Man, I've been in meetings all day.  I have to pull the plug, man.  You just lost $35,000 commision, man.  Madison is a sport about the situation, because, well, life happens.

Josh A. has a meeting with a prospective seller in Malibu, not normally his territory, but a potential 6-figure commission can change a lot of facts. But, there's another agent there--Joe Convery. Apparently, they know each other, yet neither seems too pleased to see the other. In fact, Joe says "this sucks". The seller is Chip, a developer of beachfront homes. This particular home is gorgeous and there's even a trolley/chairlift/tram (depending on whom you ask) that runs down to the ocean.

Chip wants to hire them both, Joe for his Malibu connections and Josh for his Beverly Hills expertise. This way, he'll get maximum exposure and thus, the better buyer for the house. Reluctantly, they agree, which sets off a string of personality clashes.

First, Chip wants advice on an asking price. Joe jumps in with $15 million easily, then Josh overrides him with a price of $13 million. Chip leaves the room for them to settle the issue. Josh offers Joe $25,000 to just go away. They finally compromise with a $13.995 million asking price.

Josh and Jim are at their shared co-listing to show other realtors the house. This is both comical and pathetic at the same time, as each plays the alpha male game. I'm fully expecting to see them each throw up a leg to mark their territory.

First, they fight over who's going to unlock the door. Then there's the issue of where to put the brochures. Finally, they embarrass themselves in front of a realtor named Tony, as they try to overtalk each other. Tony runs for the Hills. Well, maybe not, but he should have. Afterward, they argue over who acted more ridiculous, and finally decide they must work together for the following realtors. I expected a clip here of Josh teaching us that there is no I in team, but was let down.

Next agent? Why, it's Madison, who tells us that he commonly visits Malibu listings to see what's on the market. Joe shows Madison the house, and right on cue, out walks Josh. Mad is not pleased that Josh is co-listing in HIS territory. Joe watches the two bicker and asks why. "He's dating my assistant", says Madison. He then tells Josh that he's moving in on his turf once again. "Business is business", says Josh, always ready with the canned sales line. He then adds a comment about Madison going shirtless, when Jim breaks in to tell Josh to be nice. Fake smiles abound as Josh asks Madision if he wants some sunblock...or maybe a new assistant. Madison's response? "Oh, you're going there!" Come on, Mad. Let's hear some "Oh no, he di-idn't" and "You're not all that". We'll shout "Go Madison, Go Madison!" at our TV screens. Sorry to digress. I had a Ricki Lake moment. Well, it's not over, because Madison ends it with "Conversation is OVER!" He then makes a quick exit as Josh pouts. Joe questions the WWII episode and Josh responds with "Whatever".

Cut to Heather on the phone with Josh A. from the office of someone named Ralph. It turns out that she's on not just one job interview, but has actually been keeping the camera guys quite busy interviewing all over town.  It should be noted that Josh A. takes credit for lining up these interviews.  He encourages Heather with the line "Money never sleeps".  I'm not sure what that has to do with this situation, but we'll let it go. 

As Heather exits her job interview, we catch a quick fake set-up shot with Josh Flagg who just happens to be standing at the receptionist desk asking if she saw the Lakers last night.  It turns out that he works there, which is odd, because we never see him in an office any more.  Josh is curious as to why she's there and questions Madison's whereabouts.  Hmmmm...

Josh Altman and his despised co-lister got an offer from a buyer who, for some reason, wants to meet the seller.  Par for the course, this season.  But I must say that Chip wins the prize this season as being the most well-behaved client.  The asking price is $13.9 million and the offer is $11 million.  Chip is not too pleased, since he has over $14 million into the house.  Chip follows Josh's office and comes down yet another million.  The buyer goes up a million.  Josh finishes off the deal by going to Chip's rock bottom price of $12.8.  Sold!  Each agent earns $160,000 commission, and Joe is probably glad he didn't consider the $25K offer to go away.

Josh A. fights for a listing.

Madison is at a seance to apparently help rid a house of ghosts.

The 2 Josh's have a confrontation. Turns out that Josh F. tattled to Madison about Heather's interview. Josh A. is angry. Language is tossed around that I can't repeat. I feel pretty sure this scene is the complete highlight of what will happen next week.

Not that this has any weight, but these are the ridiculous events that need to happen in the MDL finale to tie up all the loose ends, leaving me with reality TV closure.

• Josh Flagg's book becomes a best-seller and he retires from the real estate business. This is not just because he doesn't need to work, but the billionaire seller that he forgot about fires him and Josh must go into hiding.
• Josh's book may be a literary success, but Grandma Edith is none too happy. The main reason for this is that he never sought her advice on whether or not to publish Chapter 8 and she was caught off guard. All ends well, however, when Josh has food catered to Grandma's penthouse, because food fixes everything.
• Heather gets a job with Josh Altman's help, then dumps him, because she decides she's polyamorous. Sorry, this can never be over-used.
• Madison kills three birds with one stone. In his search for love (as well as a new assistant), he turns to Mikey. Yes, Mikey jumps on Team Madison, and Josh A. learns about karma. Mikey doesn't complain about the drive to Malibu, because Madison believes in mixing business with pleasure.
• All of this causes Josh Altman to go a little testosterone-crazy, and we tune in to see him tossing the football in the air to himself. Slow-motion scenes of him and Mikey play as "The Way We Were" plays softly in the background.
• Ismir is back for a cameo wearing a black pimp-suit and aviators, driving his own Shelby Cobra with the bass thumping, past the pot bar, with a bevy of scantily-clad women.
• As Ismir drives by, the camera zooms into a missing person poster with a shot of the Stoate twins who've been missing since the rock 'n' roll condo was sold.
• Final option: Chad returns with his dog, Starla, to tell us this whole season was just a dream and the joke's on us. They are "selling the dream", after all.